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Thursday, April 17, 2008

Poem for Totally Optional Prompts

Totally Optional Prompts says:
Carl Sandburg wrote about people from time to time. Sometimes historical figures like Lincoln or Billy Sunday, and sometimes a stock character (i.e. waiter, steel worker). This week's challenge is to think of a specific person and write about them.

Campfire Service

Near the cusp
of legal emancipation
they huddle
this summer night
in silent supplication.

Moving shadows
decorate tall pines
cross their tub of beer
mirror a trinity of spirits
wrenched from friends
on recent days.

A central flame
forged to cremate fear
echoes the colors
of their spiked hair,

in that fire’s wispy smoke
they seek bravado
against the somber face
of random death.


paisley said...

this reminds me of the little rituals we performed in junior high surrounding the death of one of our own... susan schneider... i wrote a poem to be read at the eulogy, a part of which i can recite to this day..

Anonymous said...

"A central flame
of their spiked hair"

What a beautifully vivid picture you have drawn there !
The poem really conveys the dreary existence as they clutch at any purpose to change their existence to a living.

I was wondering if I could interest you in a poem I wrote about a 39 year old who suffered from cancer. It isn't for any prompt .


L said...

i like this a lot, very visual.

Stacey said...

Your words not only speak volumes, I can slso visualise the picture as well!

Anonymous said...

An amazing poem, one of the most vivid and heartfelt I've read in a long time. And yet you maintain your own author's voice-recognizable as Tumblewords!

Great poem.

Anonymous said...

What always amazes me about your work is how much you manage to express with so few words.....this is gutwrenchingly good, really powerful, fine images, and all that emotion woven in, the final stanza amazing.

Anonymous said...

This one is really mysterious to me... it has a very eerie sense to it. Intriguing!

anthonynorth said...

An intriguing poem. I see it as almost cultishly secret in a kind of ritual.

Andy Sewina said...

Yeah, this is good stuff! Random death! Wow!

Linda said...

A central flame
forged to cremate fear

I love the idea of cremating fear! Great images and a bit mysterious!

Anonymous said...

Oh yeah, those tribal rituals...good poem...loved the spiked hair detail. Way to go, Tumble.

maryt/theteach said...

Incredible poetry, tumblewords! So weel done! "In that fire's wispy smoke they seek bravado..." Marvelous image...

Anonymous said...

A powerful poem - the images you created were so vivid.

Noah the Great said...

Very vivid.

Anonymous said...

your poem made me think

Anonymous said...

This is quite sombre compared to what I've read of yours before.. I liked it a lot.

Crafty Green Poet said...

you really evoke atmosphere well here,

Anonymous said...

Amazing, I think Susan, not amazing that you wrote it, but amazing images, clearer than a movie. It is a poem I will mark to return to.