fresh yellow crocus
one white woolly bouncy lamb
farmer's springtime smile
**
spring jaunt to the lake
giggling family fireside
no sign of brown bats
**
steaks on the barbie
salad and a side of wine
strawberry shortcake
**
bare feet
long johns ditched
open doors
**
Love is the prompt given today by One Deep Breath
Fractals Photos Poetry Prose Watercolor
Monday, February 11, 2008
Love 'ku
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17 comments:
I will admit that seasonal 'ku are very difficult down here.
I love how transition from serious to funny. :)
The relationships between the lines and between the verses suggest a happy life at peace with nature. I like this very much.
Writing in Faith: Poems
You seem to have emerged from all that snow! There is a playful humour at work.
happened upon your blog
just want to say
i love Queen Anne's Lace
and the genuine
i found here
billy
Truly each is a breath of fresh air! Thank you, from your snowy neighbor to the east.
The last one in particular brought a smile to my face.
lol re the longjohns!! but truly wonderful images evoked of spring and new life coming to the surface again!
Excellent seasonal ku. I most like the bouncing lambs
your love for the season really shines in this series
beautiful as always... can't wait to see the crocus...and yes, the bats are crazy here... bare feet..yr brave!!!
A celebration of life (and therefore love) with is well balanced.
Nicely done.
Love your 'ku. It will be nice when Spring arrives, even tho it isn't cold here...well, not really. Not like Chicago, etc. But Spring always seems like things are being born again.
Lovely! Glad to see spring is springing here!
What a refreshing beautiful poem. We already had heaps of steaks on the BBQ. We have had the warmest summer ever.
Wow... thanks for the glimpse of Spring... it's still a long, long winter.
Mmm. Steaks on the barbie. Mmm, steak. I, too, love the thought here:
bare feet
long johns ditched
open doors
I hope you won't mind if I suggest a little bit of transitioning for smoothness of cadence and to make it two parts as haiku, instead of three, which can sound telegraphic. Something to make the love or sharing apparent? Something to the effect of:
four bare feet...
our long johns ditched
at the open door
Well, maybe that's not EXACTLY how you saw and mean it...I can just see two streakers in love heading barefoot out into the (Idaho) neighborhood.
I love your spontaneous feelings of enjoyment of life, family, nature, food and freedom in these poems.
A good exercise when beginning to learn haiku is to work around just one kigo...for instance, "crocus," "lamb" and "springtime" are all spring kigo. Example:
first crocus
spreading out widely...
the farmer's smile
one bouncy lamb—
a smile flickers across
the farmer's face
There have been haiku, even by Japanese master haijin, written with more than one, although they are more rare and can be considered "radical" :^D
I hope it's ok for an old haiku poet to offer a little guidance. I'm not sure if the Haiku: One Deep Breath encourages or allows it, or what? I just know that there are some wonderful, stirring thoughts in each contributing blogger's poems which want to take form as haiku. If its not ok, I'll ditch my long johns for a jaunt outside in Florida's current winter chill.
I really really enjoyed this! I gather you have spring starting (we don't. sigh). The brown bat and long johns made me chuckle! I'm looking forward to one coming and one going! The lambs were a great vision for me. My One Deep Breath is here.
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