Countdown
once beyond
the twelfth chime
on the threshhold of myth
the double gates release
insignificant others
from each of her decades
a motley horde who parade
in single file
toward the hazy light
the glow dims and fades
scribes a runic sentence
on the doorsill of myth
while the chiming clock
strikes thirteen
♥ ♥ ♥
Posts
20 comments:
You took us all the way into a paradox there. Loved it.
I like your wordplay:
insignificant others
from each of her decades
Love the "doorsill of myth" phrase!
I like where you went with this...n icely done and thanks for sharing this
The chiming clock striking thirteen, surreal. Enjoyed!
It's already been said, but I too really like that clock striking thirteen (reminds me of 1984 a bit) and the insignificant others... great dreamlike feel.
Excellent--I think it fits the image quite well.
I like the beginning,
...beyond
the twelfth chime
on the threshold of myth
it seems a little different way to think about things beyond everyday reality.
"on the threshhold of myth". This is quite mythical itself and dreamlike, as Joseph says.
I have to agree...that clock striking thirteen really did it for me in this piece. I enjoyed reading this.
-Nicole
This poem glides.Hard to do.Beautiful.
Sue,
I love what you did with this. Absolutely beautiful and mystical.
Thanks for sharing.
Pamela
Sue,
I love what you did with this. Absolutely beautiful and mystical.
Thanks for sharing.
Pamela
I'm so glad I clicked over and saw the image that inspired your poem ... your words are the perfect pairing for that picture. Awesome!
I enjoyed the energy and movement of your poem. It covers alot of ground in just a few lines. Thank you for sharing it.
Last line teases..!!
I think you caught and beautifully expressed the mythic quality of the image. I also liked the reference to decades as insignificant others who parade in a single file. Also, for some reason, I found myself wishing for another word besides 'hazy', as if it were too whimsical for the mythic feel of the poem, but I can't put my finger on why that is. A really fine poem, I enjoyed it- Great work!
I really enjoyed this work Sue. Excellent!
Hugs, G
PS: Are you having any issues reaching OSI? Ive been denied access. Just wondering.
I love the use of numbers here. You give us on(c)e and twelve early on and then expand a moment through images and bring us back to the never-ceasing count of time with thirteen in the end.
Like how you ran with the clock that struck thirteen.
Your words take me to a different time and space.Beautifully written - love the lines "scribes a runic sentence/
on the doorsill of myth."
Post a Comment