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Friday, January 11, 2008

Poefusion Friday 5

prayers crossed
in the hovels of the weary
as black of night dropped down

rounds of intense gunfire
marked the surprise collapse
of a two-day cease fire

soft floss of local news
scanned the bleeding prey
as tiny swallows took flight

Poefusion 5 prompted: intense, cease, floss, prey, swallows


paisley said...

very nice... and you are the first one to use swallow to denote a bird... lovely.....

poefusion said...

How can you say this isn't much of a piece? The whole poem sets a war scene for me and the vivid images of those swallows taking flight ends their trials seamlessly. Beautiful poem even though the subject can be ugly. Thank you for sharing.

By the way, I jinxed myself yesterday when I laughed at your bad weather. We ended up getting lots of rain and strong winds. That's what I get for laughing. Seriously, I hope your weather has cleared a bit so you can put that shovel down.

Have a nice weekend.

lissa said...

Lovely words to describe such sad scene. I like how you use the word "floss" as everyone else seem to have such a variety of use for it.

Anonymous said...

Do no underestimate this poem, Susan, please.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Michelle. Also with Paisley on "swallow".

I have a very clear image of soldiers in a bunker, with attack on the horizon. You always tell so much with few words, which is a hallmark of intense poetry, in my opinion.

susan said...

Your closing is particularly poignant.

Giggles said...

Abridged thoughts well put! Really intense and well done!

Hugs Sherrie

little wing writer said...

perfectly poetic and oh so poignant...