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Thursday, February 25, 2010

Silent Water for RWP #115

RWP #115  Prompt - Belief by the list.

Silent Water

near the limbo of belief
my clockwork brain
treads silent water

while trust ebbs and flows
pebbles line my pockets
like limpets in a shell

lies and truth crack down
upon the fractured rocks
turmoil smacks upon the reef

hangs me out to wither
along the ancient seams
of a beggar's quasi dream

my clockwork brain
treads silent water
in the limbo of belief

Fractal image created with Sterling2. 
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Paul Oakley said...

my clockwork brain
treads silent water
in the limbo of belief

Sweet! I love the way you present the tension between rationality and belief, the battering against the reef that is inherent in the struggle to know, to believe, to find meaning.

Very nice!

anthonynorth said...

This is powerful and deep. Loved it.

Anonymous said...

Beautiful language here, and I love the notion of a "clockwork brain"... mix it with water imagery, and you have a great meditation on even the very nature of belief.

Anonymous said...

so well put, the struggles one faces, lovely

rob kistner said...

I was struck by the interplay of the first and last stanzas, and how the cognitive essence fell into the "limbo of belief". I got the sense it was a statement about the difficulty of avoiding being drawn into belief systems...

I was taken by this piece...



irene said...

This is sparse and powerful. I like limpets in a shell.

Wayne Pitchko said...

lovely...brain treads silent water...mmmmmmmmmmmm so good...thanks for this

slatdang 2 2 said...

Great poem. I like the lies and truth cracked on the rocks together. I often get them confused from day to day.
It reminds me some of "If Truth Is the Lure, Humans Are Fishes" by Jane Hirshfield http://tiny.cc/buWC7

Pat Slattery

Raven's Wing Poetry said...

I was enamored with the journey in these lines, which at first seemed so linear until the last stanza. I think you illustrate the process of questioning and cognitive dissonance well...as well as our journeys in creating belief throughout our lives. How we often return to things that we once considered but discarded...older beliefs we once held...ideas considered for a second and dismissed.


Unknown said...

I like "while trust ebbs and flows..."I'm excessively fond of small found things like pebbles. My pockets are apt to contain marbles and bits of broken chain.

Anonymous said...

Nicely done!

Haven Fairfield said...

Excellent work. This is delicate emboidery between solid, earthy images.

flaubert said...

Your work is so eloquent and beautiful. I love this.

shraddha said...

i loved it..

Anonymous said...

Very useful, a thing like belief, like for getting across the street or cooking eggs, but suppose it is also more beginning than end? Your poem says well that odd silence of in-between.

Melanie said...

I enjoyed your representation of belief and conscious pondering as a beach landscape. The similarities were tied together beautifully.

I also thought the 'clockwork brain treads silent water' line was fantastic - so concise and the imagery it creates was exactly what the poem needed. Well done!

James said...

Wow. I love the idea of treading water in the limbo of belief. It's very true how noisy our brains can be. You capture that nicely.

Karen said...

The clockwork brain treading silent water is as great image. Love the limbo of belief, too.

Anonymous said...

I really like this.. lovely rhythm, cool rhythm and very imagistic. Thanks.