Tumblewords

Fractals Photos Poetry Prose Watercolor

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

When Fog Spools



white fingered clouds
scratch the bruised sky
naked trees stretch
their outreached limbs

fog spools anonymity
cloaks the stars in
November bare and
night time chill

by the dark of moon
across two empty tracks
she dreams of flames
and waits for love.





Fractal created in Fractal Explorer
Writers Island prompt: The Dream

24 comments:

Richard said...

Nicely done. By far my favorite of what of yours I've read. What would you think of cutting the word," outreached?" If the trees are stretching, then their limbs are reaching out, so cutting the word would give you a bit more compression in the finished poem. PS: If you don't want this kind of comment, let me know, and I'll refrain. I also like the way the word "anonymity" works in the 4th and 5th lines both. I can never figure out how to do that. Thanks.

Lea said...

I love the black and white of this poem that bursts into color at the very end... beautiful and haunting...

Mary Timme said...

Nicely done! And the fractal photo/rendering was beautiful in B&W. Very good.

lissa said...

Love this poem. Like Richard, definitely one of my favorite of all the ones that you have written.

My favorite line is the : white fingered clouds scratch the bruised sky

Jo said...

I love this too......you're firing on all cylinders at the moment. The second and third stanzas just blew me away!

judie said...

Love the poem!!!

judie said...

Love the poem!!!

writerwoman said...

The last two lines work together beautifully.

But my favoite line in this piece is:
scratch the bruised sky

very vivid imagery!

pepektheassassin said...

I think I like this poem best, too, of those I've read. Nice work.

Just Jen said...

Vivid and beautiful. as always!

Christine said...

I see someone looking at an evening sky in late autumn. There's an atmosphere of mystery.

Writer on Board said...

Beautiful...

keith hillman said...

You never cease to amaze me! You seem to say so much with so few words,. Absolutely delightful.

Awareness said...

wonderful imagery....loved it.

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

Whoa, that's a strong poem. Really lovely.

Thanks for stopping by earlier! I hope you'll return!

Hungry Ghost said...

This is beautifully written - the imagery - bruised sky, cloaks of stars, dark moon - very nice.

Jane Poe (aka Deborah) said...

Sue,

I love this poem, especially the start ... "white fingered clouds" ... mmm, that was brilliant!!

xx,
JP/deb

AscenderRisesAbove said...

memories of laying on ones back and staring at the dreamy clouds... thanks for that. :-)

gautami tripathy said...

I love looking at clouds trying to decipher what my future holds..

Very beautiful imagery..

giggles said...

Loved the crescendo of this poem, I was left with such feeling of hope in the dankness of winters approach!

Fenny said...

Love can be that warming ... very nice!

UL said...

"she dreams of flames
and waits for love." I am blown away, you touch deep into my heart with your words, all the time. Thank you.

Dan said...

Sue, you never cease to amaze. "she dreams of flames
and waits for love" Wow...powerful imagery!!

aka Danny Wise said...

You have a lovely way with words!
And the Fractal - Wow!