Tumblewords

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Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Poem for RWP #106

RWP #106
Prompt: Repetition is a useful tool. Perhaps one of the finest. Anyone who wishes to make a memorable point uses repetition, be they poet, scholar or person on the street. As poets, we repeat everything and anything: sounds, words, sentences, rhythms and/or ideas.



Space of Dark

a double dare of dark
drums down the days
in the space of a dime

dreams fall by the way
lack the sweet kiss of light
a double dare of dark

she leans toward spring
future swings on a string
in the double dare of dark





The image is an abstract watercolor created on the Bamboo Fun Tablet with Adobe Photoshop Elements.
 
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26 comments:

Paul Oakley said...

I like the way your "d" alliteration in the first stanza enacts the drumming it recounts. Then the gentle, sibilant, "s" alliteration in the third soften the effect of the drumbeat with a future leaning. Nice effects!

"Sweet kiss of light" is a beautiful phrase!

Americanising Desi said...

so sorry i missed ur 3ww last week :(

but i m here today and i m glad that i came.

was totally absorbed!

anthonynorth said...

I love that repeating line. Excellent.

Wanda McCollar said...

Love the alliterating "d's" and the inner meanings that reach towards many different understandings. Well done!

Anonymous said...

from Therese L. Broderick -- A tightly coiled poem, casting a little spell with its repeated beginning "d" consonants (alliteration), its repeated vowels (rhyme of "days" and "way"), its repeated three-line stanza patterns, and its repeated entire phrases (double dare of dark). Great use of many kinds of repetition in a small space! You have met the double dare challenge!

Cynthia Short said...

Boy, do I feel this right now, when the days are so short...the repetition of the D sound works so well here.

mark said...

That first stanza has me in a rapture...so very well said.

Enjoyable all the way around.

Derrick said...

I love the sounds here and the way the words roll off the tongue; the images wrapped in the darkness.

Have a very Merry Christmas.

Erin Davis said...

I love the alliteration and the refrain. This works so well...a delight to the ear.

Irene said...

I like 'the double dare of dark' and the suggestive quality of this.
Merry Christmas.

djvorreyer said...

First stanza is rhythmic and interesting.

Mariana Soffer said...

Nice poem! you left me thinking about repetition, there are speciall qualities about it. The one that is the most important for me is that we learn mainly trough repeating things. There is also the special sound it gives to hole poems, it can make them great. And a completelly different chapter would be repeating till the lost of sence of the world.

Lilibeth said...

It's sad, somehow...the drums beating down the days and the blind leaning over...very beautiful.

Maria Berg said...

Shell house I want to live in it, will read more about it. Like the photo for junction.

Merry Christmas to you,
Maria Berg, Sweden

Ps. Thank you for stopping by my blog from time to time.

swapnap said...

Loved reading each stanza, the words played together so well. Merry Christmas and wish you a gorgeous new year 2010!

Maggie said...

The sounds of the dark beat are gentle and pounding at the same time...I did see a glimmer of light.

Wayne Pitchko said...

nicely done...and thanks for sharing....great watercolor also....happy holidays

Julie Jordan Scott said...

the double dare did it for me. Love this, repetitive, yes - but such a packed punch in so few lines. Excellent.

bearlyaudible said...

Yes, yes, my simple mind likes your simple lines, yet molded well, and "she leans toward spring" joins the physical play towards the double dare. A nice sense of movement here.

I like the abstract image too! Did some work myself but only with PS, like you, but without the table - as such, like drawing without fingers! I'll have to think seriously about the tablet. Thanks for all

Naturegirl said...

The last tree lines could have been written for me..
"she leans toward spring
future swings on a string
in the double dare of dark"

As I battle cancer I go into surgery Jan 5th and I do look towards Spring for complete wellness so I do feel my future swings on a string.A poem that touches me deeply.
Nice to stop by it has bee quite a while. aNNa

davidmoolten said...

I love the "d" sounds in this. The repeated consonance really creates a sense of drubbing in the first stanza that eases up towards the end, replaced by a softer "s" sound, which makes the end hopeful. Great use of sound.

Karen said...

The "double dare of dark" not only "drums down the days" and in my head, but it also perfectly describes the condition of darkness.

The idea of "furture swings on a string" really appeals to me. It seems so...

Francis Scudellari said...

Great sounds with the first stanza's d's and the repeated phrase, which has a great visual quality as well. I'm leaning toward spring too, and that swinging future, so this captures my own feelings right now.

Rethabile said...

Melodious. Enjoyed the song.

shraddha said...

this is wonderful! i love it!

happy new year!

enjoy

Raven's Wing Poetry said...

Sonically, this piece stands out for me. Your "d" alliteration, plus your "double dare of dark" refrain and your use of rhyme in the last stanza. Well done.

-Nicole