Prompt: Repetition is a useful tool. Perhaps one of the finest. Anyone who wishes to make a memorable point uses repetition, be they poet, scholar or person on the street. As poets, we repeat everything and anything: sounds, words, sentences, rhythms and/or ideas.
Space of Dark
a double dare of darkdrums down the days
in the space of a dime
dreams fall by the way
lack the sweet kiss of light
a double dare of dark
she leans toward spring
future swings on a string
in the double dare of dark
dreams fall by the way
lack the sweet kiss of light
a double dare of dark
she leans toward spring
future swings on a string
in the double dare of dark
♥ ♥ ♥
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26 comments:
I like the way your "d" alliteration in the first stanza enacts the drumming it recounts. Then the gentle, sibilant, "s" alliteration in the third soften the effect of the drumbeat with a future leaning. Nice effects!
"Sweet kiss of light" is a beautiful phrase!
so sorry i missed ur 3ww last week :(
but i m here today and i m glad that i came.
was totally absorbed!
I love that repeating line. Excellent.
Love the alliterating "d's" and the inner meanings that reach towards many different understandings. Well done!
from Therese L. Broderick -- A tightly coiled poem, casting a little spell with its repeated beginning "d" consonants (alliteration), its repeated vowels (rhyme of "days" and "way"), its repeated three-line stanza patterns, and its repeated entire phrases (double dare of dark). Great use of many kinds of repetition in a small space! You have met the double dare challenge!
Boy, do I feel this right now, when the days are so short...the repetition of the D sound works so well here.
That first stanza has me in a rapture...so very well said.
Enjoyable all the way around.
I love the sounds here and the way the words roll off the tongue; the images wrapped in the darkness.
Have a very Merry Christmas.
I love the alliteration and the refrain. This works so well...a delight to the ear.
I like 'the double dare of dark' and the suggestive quality of this.
Merry Christmas.
First stanza is rhythmic and interesting.
Nice poem! you left me thinking about repetition, there are speciall qualities about it. The one that is the most important for me is that we learn mainly trough repeating things. There is also the special sound it gives to hole poems, it can make them great. And a completelly different chapter would be repeating till the lost of sence of the world.
It's sad, somehow...the drums beating down the days and the blind leaning over...very beautiful.
Shell house I want to live in it, will read more about it. Like the photo for junction.
Merry Christmas to you,
Maria Berg, Sweden
Ps. Thank you for stopping by my blog from time to time.
Loved reading each stanza, the words played together so well. Merry Christmas and wish you a gorgeous new year 2010!
The sounds of the dark beat are gentle and pounding at the same time...I did see a glimmer of light.
nicely done...and thanks for sharing....great watercolor also....happy holidays
the double dare did it for me. Love this, repetitive, yes - but such a packed punch in so few lines. Excellent.
Yes, yes, my simple mind likes your simple lines, yet molded well, and "she leans toward spring" joins the physical play towards the double dare. A nice sense of movement here.
I like the abstract image too! Did some work myself but only with PS, like you, but without the table - as such, like drawing without fingers! I'll have to think seriously about the tablet. Thanks for all
The last tree lines could have been written for me..
"she leans toward spring
future swings on a string
in the double dare of dark"
As I battle cancer I go into surgery Jan 5th and I do look towards Spring for complete wellness so I do feel my future swings on a string.A poem that touches me deeply.
Nice to stop by it has bee quite a while. aNNa
I love the "d" sounds in this. The repeated consonance really creates a sense of drubbing in the first stanza that eases up towards the end, replaced by a softer "s" sound, which makes the end hopeful. Great use of sound.
The "double dare of dark" not only "drums down the days" and in my head, but it also perfectly describes the condition of darkness.
The idea of "furture swings on a string" really appeals to me. It seems so...
Great sounds with the first stanza's d's and the repeated phrase, which has a great visual quality as well. I'm leaning toward spring too, and that swinging future, so this captures my own feelings right now.
Melodious. Enjoyed the song.
this is wonderful! i love it!
happy new year!
enjoy
Sonically, this piece stands out for me. Your "d" alliteration, plus your "double dare of dark" refrain and your use of rhyme in the last stanza. Well done.
-Nicole
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