tomorrow's remains
scattered among the ashes
by a liar's breath
**
tomorrow's breath
enters the mid-dark night
on scattered dreams
**
3WordWednesday Prompt: tomorrow, scattered, breath
Fractals Photos Poetry Prose Watercolor
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Tomorrows
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19 comments:
Ah, the second is my favorite.
ohhhh both perfection.. i do have to agree with susan tho'... the second one really does it for me too.......
These are absolutely wonderful, Tumblewords. Brava!
S
For me the first one is most excellent (both are good). The first one is just so utterly complete in so few words, and I love the oxymoron of tomorrow's remains. How destructive lies can be.
Oh the first one is just heartbreaking. I don't understand liars, how they can do that to others and not feel remorse.
I love both -- the first one just jumped out at me...remains and lies -- I really loved your take on this.
Ditto!
As usual, your concise wording leaves me in awe!
I like both of these. I like the different ways you have used 'scattered'. For me, the first one is marginally stronger. Lovely painting too.
Love both, Susan, but the first is brilliant. So few words describe so clearly.
I love the first one. Its interesting to me that these words brought out the feelings of scorned people... yours and 2 others I read tonight!
I really like the first sentence... it is soooo poignant!
The painting is lovely too! =]
Happy 3ww!
Both are excellent. The first one grabbed me.
Very original use of the prompts! I enjoyed each one.
I so enjoy your pieces in 3WW. These were really good haiku and anything with dreams makes me smile. Thanks!
the second one ...loved it so much! tomorrow sure creeps.
I love the first one especially. Well done!
To the point, both! I can't decide which is better!
if tomorrow comes
i loved both but the first gets a A+
life's struggle can always be recouped in our dreams...yes no... and the pix lovingly enhances...
Wonderful watercolor and words! Second one touched me!
Hugs Sherrie
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