Tumblewords

Fractals Photos Poetry Prose Watercolor

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Tomorrows


tomorrow's remains
scattered among the ashes
by a liar's breath

**

tomorrow's breath
enters the mid-dark night
on scattered dreams

**





3WordWednesday Prompt: tomorrow, scattered, breath

19 comments:

susan said...

Ah, the second is my favorite.

paisley said...

ohhhh both perfection.. i do have to agree with susan tho'... the second one really does it for me too.......

Sandy said...

These are absolutely wonderful, Tumblewords. Brava!

S

pjd said...

For me the first one is most excellent (both are good). The first one is just so utterly complete in so few words, and I love the oxymoron of tomorrow's remains. How destructive lies can be.

TC said...

Oh the first one is just heartbreaking. I don't understand liars, how they can do that to others and not feel remorse.

Sherry said...

I love both -- the first one just jumped out at me...remains and lies -- I really loved your take on this.

Linda said...

Ditto!

As usual, your concise wording leaves me in awe!

watermaid said...

I like both of these. I like the different ways you have used 'scattered'. For me, the first one is marginally stronger. Lovely painting too.

Marcia (MeeAugraphie) said...

Love both, Susan, but the first is brilliant. So few words describe so clearly.

Kate said...

I love the first one. Its interesting to me that these words brought out the feelings of scorned people... yours and 2 others I read tonight!

I really like the first sentence... it is soooo poignant!

The painting is lovely too! =]

Happy 3ww!

Herb Urban said...

Both are excellent. The first one grabbed me.

Corina said...

Very original use of the prompts! I enjoyed each one.

Tammy said...

I so enjoy your pieces in 3WW. These were really good haiku and anything with dreams makes me smile. Thanks!

UL said...

the second one ...loved it so much! tomorrow sure creeps.

WriterKat said...

I love the first one especially. Well done!

gautami tripathy said...

To the point, both! I can't decide which is better!

if tomorrow comes

Christy said...

i loved both but the first gets a A+

LittleWing said...

life's struggle can always be recouped in our dreams...yes no... and the pix lovingly enhances...

giggles said...

Wonderful watercolor and words! Second one touched me!

Hugs Sherrie