Midday sun pulls sweat from his aching back
He expells a hum, unfolds to the sky
Hat brim hides laugh lines that enclose his eyes
Left foot corrals the olive drab knapsack.
Two swallows of water, he shakes his hands
Three feet away from the edge of the knoll
Turns to hoist a slab of lavender stone
Winking at noon from a wide quartz band.
Boulder hustled into a perfect place
My brother resumes creating the square
A surround for rustic table and chair
Centered in that freshly green sodded space.
With a strum of strings and one whiskey neat
He'll sing to his world from a hard rock seat.
Prompt came from Totally Optional Prompts
Digital Photo by Sue
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20 comments:
Worth more than a 1000 snapshots.
those last two lines are excellent!
"With a strum of strings and one whiskey neat
He'll sing to his world from a hard rock seat."
I like the way you use the word rock - from the title to the hard rock seat... and the pic of the dry stone wall.
great for a first sonnet!
love in a sonnet
lovely piece of writing
'he'll sing to his world' really stood out for me
this is wonderful,, a definite deviation from your regular style...
i like the simplicity of it,, i went way out of my comfort zone on this one...
Really has a nice rhythm that reflects the task...
Enjoyed your closing.
Join me at BES. I'm stirring the pot. See:
Okay, it’s been a few days, but Jilly at Poetry Hut asked about the lack of exposure for women poets. Personally, I think the bigger question is: Are we, women supporting each other? Who are reading? Whose collections do we buy and are we going to readings featuring women?
http://blackeyedsusans.blogspot.com/2008/01/supporting-women-poets.html
I loved it! Vivid lines that jumped right off the page - I felt like I was there.
I could see everything that was happening. And I kept thinking that he certtainly needed a drink. Glad he got it!
Definitely a good first effort! The color details and the laugh lines really help bring the scene to life.
I read this outloud.
I loved the way the words "tumbled" off my tongue.
I saw the flagstone patio.
Sherry
Wonderfully full of life and nature and spirit! I love this sonnet!
:)
Especially liked how you brought this to a close. Those last two lines made me smile.
Beautifully told story. All it needs now is music.
Beautiful! i loved the why you used your words, they made a great image in my mined
This was wonderful, I hope this is a photo of his stone work. I too love the ending lines..and the winking at noon line.
Love how you've captured this memory with such simplicity! I knew it was your brother before you told us...and I'm not sure why! Excellent visuals! Wonderful tribute!!
Hugs Sherrie
That last couplet is excellent!
I thought the whole damn thing was GREAT!!---- Since it was me there stuck beneath that hat/in the sun and the sweat love a day like that/
When the sun escapes from it's winter den/ Ill be out under that old hat again/ in a labor of love with my chipmonk friends/ Lord give me the rocks and the sunshine so sweet/ and if you would sir---and aged whiskey neat. Love Yer Bro!!
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