the first spring gift,
freshly dying dandelions
cohere in his grimy palm
standing on one foot
then the other, he
immerses stems
in a tall tea glass
creates a quick apology ~
he left the worms outside
Poefusion Friday 5 prompt words: cohere, immerse, create, dandelions, glass
Friday, January 25, 2008
He Brings
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13 comments:
Oh the picture that paints. This is really good. I have to wonder what he did to have to apologize. Happy Friday back to you. Have a nice day.
LOL, Michelle! He left the worms outside - darn.
the sweetness and innocence of the gesture are certainly stronger than any lingering mud or grime....
This really took me back so clearly. I'd forgotten how sticky dandelions can be...wonderful piece. Since I garden, worms are my friends!
I read this a few times, and then I put two and two together - a little boy is giving his mother gifts! Too bad about the worms! Yuck!
I didn't even think about the words from the prompt - great stuff! you put it all together so smoothly.
Like Paisley said, there is a wonderful sweetness to this that I totally felt as I read your poem. The grimy palm and shifting wait from foot to foot is adorable. And leaving the worms outside gave me a huge smile. Beautiful!
:)
Wonderful last line.
oh that last line, fabulous, yes a tender lovely piece which made me smile, such delicate structure and flow, perfect.
lovely poem!
thanks for your comment on my first 3WW :)
Priceless, Susan, I can see it as a mastercard commercial to tug at our hearts.
how sweet!
Priceless, adorable, poetry, says so much with so little! Clever last sentence sums it all up!
Hugs Sherrie
so very sweet and endearing... makes my heart melt thinking abt my son when he was young .. time just slips through our hands...
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