Payday Friday
hemp's hazy smoke
circles plastic gods
who squat at the rail
like resplendent kumquats
appetites for right
explode over the tip jar
and bourbon furies
dent a silver shaker
one single nape
in each meaty hand
the hulky bouncer
bends raucous out the door
dusty rose fuchsias
gape and hug their pots
hemp's hazy smoke
circles plastic gods
Fractal image.
♥ ♥ ♥
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22 comments:
I love the first stanza and
"and bourbon furies/dent a silver shaker". Lovely words.
Ooh, "resplendent kumquats"! what a wonderful merge of words!
I love the thought of the smoky bar, where everyone drinks the week's pay...the only thing, the "plastic gods" are very intriguing and I want to know exactly what they are!
I loved the vibrant imagery of this piece, this description is wonderful. Great poem.
Spot on with the atmosphere. The place sounds a bit up-market, but the seedier working-class pub vaults saw it all on Thursday I guess.
love, love the imagery in this one!! definitely agree with Cynthia, the "resplendent kumquats" are over-the-top brilliant!!
cheers,
JP/deb
love the vibrance
i like the 2nd stanza, nice play of words. very poetic indeed. ^0^
never before considered kumquats as resplendent. That is a wonderful image.
and a great re-imagining of a scene.
Oh, man, I could go for some of that hazy hempsmoke right now. Then bring me somma dem kumquats, eh?
Love this Susan!
"hemp's hazy smoke" Wonderful imagery.
Pamela
I like that it ends with a twist (or turn?)...everything sounded so surreal down to the plastic gods :)
Splendid works and imagery in your poem! Thank you for commenting in my blog!
lovely words,
well organized thoughts.
You certainly have set the scene! I can picture it: one single nape in each meaty hand, the hulky bouncer bending those raucous out the door. Great poem!
Add me to the list of "resplendent kumquats" admirers, and the fuchsias come in a close second.
So many wonderful word combinations! And I love the use of nape & gape (great words!!) and the repetition at the end to circle back.
Thanks for playing!
this piece contains both ease (hemp's hazy smoke) and aggression (meaty hand, hulky bouncer): i love the interplay!
like the play. your fun shines thru the words.
You get better and better! Love the recipes and the pictures. Love fractals!
I really like the sounds in this poem (which is so appropriate given the prompt): "hemp's hazy smoke", "bourbon furies // dent a silver shaker", etc, they're just fun to say aloud!
Oh, and thanks for visiting my blog and commenting on my poem for this prompt :-)
When I was a kid (way back machine is whirring) we used to create hazy hemp "heavens"...uh oh-did I reveal too much? :)
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cheers!
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