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Thursday, June 24, 2010

What if...for BigTentPoetry


Big Tent Poetry prompt: Start at the top of a page, “I want to write about __________, but I don’t know how.”




What if...

I want to write about broken lives,
sad crumbs transformed from good

death that goes unnoticed
dreams that die in blood-soaked sand

the linear who threaten from a box
hate by rote and know no answers

faith that elevates evil and ugly
and screamers loath to offer sanity

failing infrastructure
and pain that knocks in the night

instead, I'll write about this iris
freshened on the fourth of summer
under a swirl of aging rain

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Digital photo.
♥     ♥     ♥

27 comments:

Stan Ski said...

Great image - and 'the fourth of summer'... love it.

vivienne blake said...

Poem and image, both beautiful, and so much more optimistic than I gess a lot of our poems will be on this prompt.
ViV

Elizabeth said...

Love the images, both the visual ones and the written ones. Really good write.

Elizabeth

Marianne ~ said...

Wonderful juxtaposition: broken lives and that beautiful flower! Love your last stanza. "Fourth of summer" and "swirl of aging rain" are awesome!

barbara said...

I believe that's what I intended to say, but couldn't express.

Mary said...

I understand perfectly (I think). Sometimes it is better for one's well being to focus on the irises in one's life!

http://inthecornerofmyeye.blogspot.com/2010/06/front-page-news.html

Giggles said...

Huge Impact.....loved it!

Hugs Giggles

caroleesherwood said...

the surprise ending is just wonderful!

Cynthia Short said...

I love your idea here, that in great tragedy and near hopelessness, you can still manage to find one small, uplifting thing.

mark said...

I love this. You bring the depths of despair to shimmering beauty in this piece so well.

I also loved the line, "the fourth of summer''

brenda w said...

Thanks for not writing about all those other things, irises are so lovely! :)
Your piece enaged me fully.

Diane T said...

I have a hard time writing about broken lives, but you did this very well, with quite a surprise ending. Excellent work.

ravenswingpoetry.com said...

Your poem is almost a body of contrast...with its fulcrum towards the end with the image of the iris. Quite a few of the lines caught me, but the one sticking out in my mind is "the linear who threaten from a box/hate by rote and know no answers". And that is so true about many of us on this planet, sadly. Thank you for offering the spot of purple in what sometimes appears to be a sea of black.

-Nicole

Uma said...

Susan thanks for enabling Name/URL so that I can leave my comments.

This is a beautiful poem, love your swirl of aging rain.

Systematic Weasel said...

A nicely written piece! Everyone gets so caught up in the negative things of life too often, we forget the positive aspects that nature can bring. Thanks for sharing!

-Weasel

Ron. said...

Never would have expected to end up with that lovely iris after all that blood-soaked sand. Well done.

Anonymous said...

beautiful Susan!
Pamela

Sam Liu said...

This is amazing...I adore your poetry for its freshness, its originality and its subtle brilliance, which is weaved into each of your words. Indeed, here you have captured the battle all writers have with their own souls, over what they should write and whether they should write for themselves, or their readers. Truly a poignant reflection, and so elegantly expressed :)

Brenda said...

Both are important, a vital part of our living soul. Horror loss and sorrow over tragedy and the joy we experience with beautiful flowers. You have brought this paradox of living together marvelously in this poem - one doesn't negate the other.

Rallentanda said...

Fantastic poem. Thank God for the
iris Blossombuds. In the end it's all that counts!

nan said...

I love the sweet resolution of this poem. It is so positive and lovely!

Erin Davis said...

Such intense tragic images and then a beautiful turn at the end. Thank you!

irene said...

I love your technique here - it's really about how we choose to focus on and I love that we can choose to focus on the beautiful even knowing about the rest of the damned story.

Francis Scudellari said...

It's the irises (and such moving poetry) that give us the inspiration to confront all of those other nasty things you "didn't" write about.

Dick said...

A lesson for us all, neatly told: stick with the irises!

Pearl said...

Francis makes a good point. there are ways to write about both and impart hope and beauty while not hiding from the difficult. then the craft is optimized by a master.

ChrisJ said...

I love this poem. I believe you have a sensitive soul.