staring at myself
displeased with the puffy hands
the mouth full of thin
he brushed the daylight dark
and dyed me as a stranger
Magpie Tales Prompt Image.
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Fractals Photos Poetry Prose Watercolor
Monday, March 28, 2011
Tanka for Magpie Tales #59
Tess Kincaid of Magpie Tales offers a weekly image for writerly prompt. This week:
staring at myself
displeased with the puffy hands
the mouth full of thin
he brushed the daylight dark
and dyed me as a stranger
staring at myself
displeased with the puffy hands
the mouth full of thin
he brushed the daylight dark
and dyed me as a stranger
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47 comments:
"the mouth full of thin" ...especially love that =-) Very nice take.
True to form, the sitter hates her own image while the family thinks the portrait is just like her!
Well done.
'brushing the daylight dark' .. yes, he did do that. Nicely done, your Tanka.
I love what you've done with the prompt... especially the last 2 lines!
~laurie
Fine word art. Thank you!
I looooove this. Just fabulous. You have shown her as a human and not just an image, a million eyes have gazed upon.
This is wonderful~ I love "the mouth full of thin"
Good writing...
Nicely done, enjoyed it :)
Short Poems
I loved that you gave voice to the sitter, and the wonderful images- he brushed the daylight dark /and dyed me as a stranger...
Now that's a clever take.
This is very good, excellent writing.
What can I say but WOW???? Your insights, your interpretations, your skills as a poet really are a treat for me. It is a pleasure to visit. Always.
What an interesting take on this...the sitter reacts like we do to our passport photos. Great job. vb
I loved this.. <3
What an interesting take!
witty!!
Hugs xx
u said so much in so little. bravo.
"the mouth full of thin", "dyed me as a stranger" GREAT lines...really wonderful!
hi, thanks for your comment =)
Good take, Tumblewords!
I always look forward to your Magpie pieces, such elegant and powerful words.
Makes sense. I have seen very few pictures of myself that I can even tolerate. I can't imagine telling a great artist to please just change this detail or that.
well that's one way to get a "facelift" Nicely done!
"he brushed the daylight dark
and dyed me as a stranger" Wow.
Thank you.
... "he brushed the daylight dark" is particularily beautiful.
And look how it turned out!! Love your take..do we ever know ourselves??
I echo the feeling on these lines.
Such imagry and exactness captured in your word choices. This poem makes the brain sit up and pay attention!
Oh I really like this Tumblewords!
Dark brushed daylight? Exactly! LOL
excellent job! I've always found Tanka very difficult to write for some reason. Yours is perfect for the prompt. I love the last two lines especially.
"he brushed the daylight dark
and dyed me as a stranger" is very thoughtful
yes, it's always awkward to look at a picture of oneself.
ingenious.
wow... fabulous how you have captured layers in so few words.
You offer a different perspective,an intelligent model voices what she feels about the work. Brilliant.
What a great description! Excellent.
A wonderful observation and lovely poetry.
Superb, perfect.
The "mouth full of thin" is a great line.
well done - a fine piece
Nicely - and very cleverly - done.
Excellent! Brilliant lines!
"he brushed the daylight dark
and dyed me as a stranger" - Gosh I really connected with this idea. I feel as if it's happened to me. Wonderful, as always.
This was great. I adore "mouth full of thin".
Yes, "mouth full of thin" is genius. I think this is my favorite piece of yours so far.
definitely love;
"he brushed the daylight dark
and dyed me as a stranger"
Very awesome!
Mouthful of thin is great. Better than a headful of thick, anyway!
Such a wonderful take. Imagine looking at a portrait of yourself and finding fault with your features.
Love your creative thoughts on this Magpie prompt!
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