Tumblewords

Fractals Photos Poetry Prose Watercolor

Monday, March 28, 2011

Tanka for Magpie Tales #59

Tess Kincaid of Magpie Tales offers a weekly image for writerly prompt. This week:





staring at myself
displeased with the puffy hands
the mouth full of thin
he brushed the daylight dark
and dyed me as a stranger

 
Magpie Tales Prompt Image.
 
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47 comments:

DebbyMc said...

"the mouth full of thin" ...especially love that =-) Very nice take.

spacedlaw said...

True to form, the sitter hates her own image while the family thinks the portrait is just like her!
Well done.

Helen said...

'brushing the daylight dark' .. yes, he did do that. Nicely done, your Tanka.

LKHarris-Kolp said...

I love what you've done with the prompt... especially the last 2 lines!

~laurie

Elaine said...

Fine word art. Thank you!

thingy said...

I looooove this. Just fabulous. You have shown her as a human and not just an image, a million eyes have gazed upon.

Kristen Haskell said...

This is wonderful~ I love "the mouth full of thin"

Berowne said...

Good writing...

Marinela Reka said...

Nicely done, enjoyed it :)
Short Poems

Words A Day said...

I loved that you gave voice to the sitter, and the wonderful images- he brushed the daylight dark /and dyed me as a stranger...

anthonynorth said...

Now that's a clever take.

Marilyn said...

This is very good, excellent writing.

Selma said...

What can I say but WOW???? Your insights, your interpretations, your skills as a poet really are a treat for me. It is a pleasure to visit. Always.

versebender said...

What an interesting take on this...the sitter reacts like we do to our passport photos. Great job. vb

Olivia said...

I loved this.. <3
What an interesting take!

witty!!
Hugs xx

Templeton's fury said...

u said so much in so little. bravo.

Donna B said...

"the mouth full of thin", "dyed me as a stranger" GREAT lines...really wonderful!

sweet pea. said...

hi, thanks for your comment =)

indiwriter said...

Good take, Tumblewords!

Brigid said...

I always look forward to your Magpie pieces, such elegant and powerful words.

Shari Sunday said...

Makes sense. I have seen very few pictures of myself that I can even tolerate. I can't imagine telling a great artist to please just change this detail or that.

Kathe W. said...

well that's one way to get a "facelift" Nicely done!

ds said...

"he brushed the daylight dark
and dyed me as a stranger" Wow.
Thank you.

Margaret said...

... "he brushed the daylight dark" is particularily beautiful.

Lyn said...

And look how it turned out!! Love your take..do we ever know ourselves??

cosmos cami said...

I echo the feeling on these lines.
Such imagry and exactness captured in your word choices. This poem makes the brain sit up and pay attention!

120 Socks said...

Oh I really like this Tumblewords!

Cad said...

Dark brushed daylight? Exactly! LOL

Lolamouse said...

excellent job! I've always found Tanka very difficult to write for some reason. Yours is perfect for the prompt. I love the last two lines especially.

Doctor FTSE said...

"he brushed the daylight dark
and dyed me as a stranger" is very thoughtful

Andreas said...

yes, it's always awkward to look at a picture of oneself.

ingenious.

Reflections said...

wow... fabulous how you have captured layers in so few words.

Uma said...

You offer a different perspective,an intelligent model voices what she feels about the work. Brilliant.

Sue J said...

What a great description! Excellent.

April said...

A wonderful observation and lovely poetry.

Steve Isaak said...

Superb, perfect.

Lucy Westenra said...

The "mouth full of thin" is a great line.

Isabel Doyle said...

well done - a fine piece

Dave King said...

Nicely - and very cleverly - done.

Steven Cain said...

Excellent! Brilliant lines!

Jennifer said...

"he brushed the daylight dark
and dyed me as a stranger" - Gosh I really connected with this idea. I feel as if it's happened to me. Wonderful, as always.

Tess Kincaid said...

This was great. I adore "mouth full of thin".

Lydia said...

Yes, "mouth full of thin" is genius. I think this is my favorite piece of yours so far.

chiccoreal said...

definitely love;

"he brushed the daylight dark
and dyed me as a stranger"

Very awesome!

Trellissimo said...

Mouthful of thin is great. Better than a headful of thick, anyway!

Bee's Blog said...

Such a wonderful take. Imagine looking at a portrait of yourself and finding fault with your features.

Ann Grenier said...

Love your creative thoughts on this Magpie prompt!