One of my favorite poems is North of Mist by Wendy Videlock. The imagery reaches deep, the words rub fresh nubs of imagination and the soothing lilt promises a deep secret of this reader's own making.
Second Hand
the hand of now
against the future
dealt by Tarot's
deck of justice
cloud-spun loops
of karmic redo
spell the links
in double whispers
veins of past
in light-fed relays
cast the cards
with fiery hustle
sky-bound layers
show tinted steps
while earth unfolds
the stars of Escher
a final layout
spins the wheel
the devil's other hand
slips away
A fractal image.
♥ ♥ ♥
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19 comments:
One can certainly see and hear the inspiration. Having read both poems, the rhythm of Hiawatha's Wedding Feast keeps running through my head!
Read both poems--you did a fine job! (and the rhythm of Hiawatha runs thru my head as well)!
i read both poems and your words are definitely inspired by 'North of Mist'. have a great day/ weekend.
I like the air of mystery, and the way time seem to flow in on itself.
I too, read both poems and dare I say it? Liked yours better. The rhythms are close, but I get a much deeper sense of the Practical/Surreal dichotomy from your poem. And that ending is like a slap of a card on a hard wooden table.
Elizabeth
Susan this is superb!
Pamela
hi sue, a display of rich words that force one to pause...
I definitely hear the inspiration. If I may make one suggestion...you have such wonderful images, but there are a few places where the meter breaks and takes me away from those images. I love the Escher stairs. It was so unexpected and yet perfect.
I think you did a good job here. http://thelaughinghousewife.wordpress.com
I've read both poems, and though the one you chose is a great piece, the one you wrote is an even better piece! A wonderful read!
-Weasel
ps: you left a question on my blog of my piece. Did I save the work before I cut it down. I only have the 4 part version saved and not the ten part version. I'm leaving the link to the 4 part below if you would like to read it. Thanks for asking! :)
http://systematicweasel.blogspot.com/2009/12/street-city-blues_23.html
Lovely...Both poems
I had never read your favorite. Loved North of Mist. Your poem was excellent. I enjoyed watching the hands unfold and be interpreted through the time and space, and love the last stanza.
The rhythm of your lines adds to the mystery of the words.
Your imagery is beautiful, your metaphor sublime. I loved this line, "spell the links
in double whispers".
very well done.
hope that you enjoy a fun Saturday!
hmmm.... nyc post
i like how you've been able to imitate the tone and haziness (mood) of the piece you selected while using different words/images!
Love the play between the stanzas.
A beautiful poem, I read it aloud and it sounded so very perfect and beautiful.
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