Tumblewords

Fractals Photos Poetry Prose Watercolor

Thursday, July 01, 2010

Gossip Tree for BigTent

Big Tent Poetry prompts: share the whole conversation!



Gossip Tree


he said to tell you hi and

what?

he said to tell you goodbye

oh, we did that long ago

he said to tell you he was leaving town
and not coming back

he never did come back, even then,
when he could

that's all he said

I don't think I'll miss him
like I did when we were paired
before he left that other time


A fractal image.
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27 comments:

Elizabeth said...

I was laughing by the time I finished reading your lines, but laughter aside, there is such a vivid story and image to these few disjointed bits of conversation. It's great.

Elizabeth

Stan Ski said...

The final farewell is not always the last word.

Rallentanda said...

That's right Tumblewords, some of them have been gone for years even if they have never left! A very wise and pithy little gem.

brenda w said...

This is funny. I had to read it a few times. You are clever, Sue!

joanny said...

An interesting tale on the photo prompt -- very witty and clever.

Joanny

Derrick said...

But at least he wanted her to know!

Robert Lloyd said...

Oh I like this conversation. The image of two ladies sipping tea whil having a short clipped back and forth is what jumped in my head. Very well done. Thank you for sharing.

twitches said...

Interesting - sounds like the one person is trying to upset the poor "left" soul, who doesn't seem too bothered by his exit.

Cynthia Short said...

This made me want to know more of the story...nice!

mark said...

So much story packed into so few words. I quite like this....

Anonymous said...

Susan
Quite a bittersweet poem.
Well done!
Pamela

Systematic Weasel said...

A wonderfully written and funny poem! I really needed a laugh too, with this passing storm. Muggy weather is always fun, right? :P Thanks for sharing, and the laugh!

-Weasel

Sam Liu said...

What a beautiful poetic dialogue, this made wonderful reading :)

Linda zfrances said...

Loved the clipped dialogue which allowed the reader to fill in the gaps.

Linda Frances said...

It isn't easy to leave a comment with my itouch.
I loved the way the conversation is clipped and allows for some wonderful interpretations.

Diane T said...

Sounds like something from my past when a boyfriend moved out of town without telling me. Nevermind, I moved and married someone else to his horror, LOL. Very well written, I can resonate with it, which I always love.

Diane T said...

Sounds like something that happened in my past. I really love it when you can resonate with a poem! Very well done.

Autumn Belle @ KDP said...

This reminds me of the lyrics of a love song.

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nan said...

I really enjoyed this. You have conveyed so much in the empty spaces you created. Excellent read.

fourwindshaiga said...

I've met guys like that. It is funny, but only long after the meeting.

Erin Davis said...

Ah, I love this--especially the ending.

deb said...

Nice turn of the story. A little poignant, with a strong
resolution.

Q said...

It has been a delight catching up with you.
This conversation was so cleaver....
Thanks.
Happy 4th.
Sherry

Paul Oakley said...

So much bundled up so tight in these "loose words"! The potential for sensation and drama from the gossiper's words, and the unsurprised, feet-on-the-ground responses taking the steam our - nicely combined.

Francis Scudellari said...

It sounds like he's worried she won't miss him :). This is a great little vignette.

Uma said...

So cryptic and contained. He deserves this response.

thelaughinghousewife said...

I love the distinct voices.

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