RWP #115 Prompt - Belief by the list.
Silent Water
near the limbo of belief
my clockwork brain
treads silent water
while trust ebbs and flows
pebbles line my pockets
like limpets in a shell
lies and truth crack down
upon the fractured rocks
turmoil smacks upon the reef
hangs me out to wither
along the ancient seams
of a beggar's quasi dream
my clockwork brain
treads silent water
in the limbo of belief
Fractal image created with Sterling2.
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19 comments:
my clockwork brain
treads silent water
in the limbo of belief
Sweet! I love the way you present the tension between rationality and belief, the battering against the reef that is inherent in the struggle to know, to believe, to find meaning.
Very nice!
This is powerful and deep. Loved it.
Beautiful language here, and I love the notion of a "clockwork brain"... mix it with water imagery, and you have a great meditation on even the very nature of belief.
so well put, the struggles one faces, lovely
I was struck by the interplay of the first and last stanzas, and how the cognitive essence fell into the "limbo of belief". I got the sense it was a statement about the difficulty of avoiding being drawn into belief systems...
I was taken by this piece...
...rob
Moonfall
This is sparse and powerful. I like limpets in a shell.
lovely...brain treads silent water...mmmmmmmmmmmm so good...thanks for this
Great poem. I like the lies and truth cracked on the rocks together. I often get them confused from day to day.
It reminds me some of "If Truth Is the Lure, Humans Are Fishes" by Jane Hirshfield http://tiny.cc/buWC7
Thanks,
Pat Slattery
I was enamored with the journey in these lines, which at first seemed so linear until the last stanza. I think you illustrate the process of questioning and cognitive dissonance well...as well as our journeys in creating belief throughout our lives. How we often return to things that we once considered but discarded...older beliefs we once held...ideas considered for a second and dismissed.
-Nicole
I like "while trust ebbs and flows..."I'm excessively fond of small found things like pebbles. My pockets are apt to contain marbles and bits of broken chain.
Nicely done!
Excellent work. This is delicate emboidery between solid, earthy images.
Your work is so eloquent and beautiful. I love this.
Pamela
excellent..
i loved it..
Very useful, a thing like belief, like for getting across the street or cooking eggs, but suppose it is also more beginning than end? Your poem says well that odd silence of in-between.
I enjoyed your representation of belief and conscious pondering as a beach landscape. The similarities were tied together beautifully.
I also thought the 'clockwork brain treads silent water' line was fantastic - so concise and the imagery it creates was exactly what the poem needed. Well done!
Wow. I love the idea of treading water in the limbo of belief. It's very true how noisy our brains can be. You capture that nicely.
The clockwork brain treading silent water is as great image. Love the limbo of belief, too.
I really like this.. lovely rhythm, cool rhythm and very imagistic. Thanks.
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