Untamed
the sky
flings color to the four winds
delays the black and white
heavy lifting
the burden of soothing the feral
brings him to his knees
he pauses
for answers not expected
although the sun might rise again
fling color to the four winds
and convert the black and white
to one more song of doubt
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28 comments:
beautiful - just beautiful, I really love how you integrate and contrast color and B&W, this has the feeling of a photograph to me - and it evokes despair so delicately, so perfectly - really wonderful write imo
This one is very deep. Excellent, as always.
I, too, love the way you integrate and contrast the color and the B&W! It is deep and moving! Marvelous! Have a great weekend!
Sylvia
Quite like this... ^_^
i like "answers not expected."
very nice. this image offers more questions than answers, for sure!
lovely idea and lovely words...
"the sky/flings color to the four winds" is beautiful!
I'm glad you're visiting me! Love the poem, but have one question: Why 'doubt?'
I'll be back! :-)
Fling color to the four winds...song of doubt and why not indeed!
very interesting poem.
Love how the sky slings the color, and how you sum it all up in this, short and sweet, but yet it reads like a good novel...
I look forward to more of your work!
Love the last stanza particularly. Songs of doubt is a beautiful phrase.
Wonderful use of colour transformation I thought to 'song of doubt', and I do like 'soothing the feral brings him to his knees'.
What everyone has said and I like the second stanza very much.
I love the reference to color and then to black and white. Beautiful, Susan! I love your artwork also.
Pamela
from Therese Broderick -- a lovely tone poem which honors the "untamed" within us. That last phrase "song of doubt" is a stunner. I like how the poem begins with that vast sky, so evident when we first look at the photo. Tight, keen work!
from Therese Broderick -- a lovely tone poem which honors the "untamed" within us. That last phrase "song of doubt" is a stunner. I like how the poem begins with that vast sky, so evident when we first look at the photo. Tight, keen work!
I really like the way the last stanza ends -- "song of doubt" remains within the spirit of the poem.
"the burden of soothing the feral" would make a wonderful i ching hexagram.
I'm really enjoying pondering the line "the burden of soothing the feral." It works nicely in the context of this piece especially when I reach the end and find the doubt.
Your poetry is beautiful, and the image you've planted in my mind is wonderful..I'm free to imagine!
Thank you for your kind words and visit!
I love the juxtaposition of words and images that create this sort of rubber band of movement, like "fling" and "delay" or "lifting" and "bringing him to his knees." Very nice!
we both used "un" in our title. I like that. The energy here and the rhythm really cause me to look up, to take notice. Look. See what IS as well as what ISN'T.
Thank you for that visceral response.
Amazing use of color (as a concept) and repetition. Breathtaking.
"the burden of soothing the feral " what a striking line. that could be a prompt starter in itself.
"the burden of soothing the feral", struck me as well...what visuals accompanied this read, surreal
Absolutely beautiful. I like how you contrast the color with the black and white in both the first and the last stanzas. But then again, I'm a sucker for contrasts.
Your second stanza has to be my favourite in this poem. Yes, I get a sense of the man in the picture being burdened.
Great work this week.
-Nicole
This poem is beautifully made.
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