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Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Transliteration for RWP 110

RWP  Get Your Poem On 110

Transliteration is the process of selecting a text in a language you don’t know and then doing a faux translation of the work based on what you think the words mean. The key is not knowing the language you are translating from so that your faux translation won’t be sullied by knowing what the words actually mean.

I chose Homesick for the Dark by Robert Anker, The Netherlands poet, from Poetry International Web


Rising Yen

in the wildest of times
he spoke of the dark and
the doom nibbling at his marrow

near the forests and brooks,
he spoke of joining rivulets to brook,
brooks to river, rivers to the sea

in the calmest of times
he spoke of light, the crags
and sea, the endless glide of tides

and in all those times, he knew
a growing kinship with the dark
and a heady ache for friendly death





♥     ♥     ♥

23 comments:

Ann (bunnygirl) said...

Oh, this is great. I love the "kinship with the dark" and the metaphor of running water. Great stuff!

angelcel said...

A fascinating idea - I like your poem. :)

Stan Ski said...

Did Robert Anker put it so well?

jabblog said...

This is wonderful! What a fascinating challenge.

anthonynorth said...

Those last three lines are marvellous.

Dick said...

I've just come from Dana's transliteration, which (to me, anyway) evokes images of imminent death. Your piece could almost form a prequel, providing the human context. Whilst entirely different in style, this is equally powerful and atmospheric. Great use made of this excellent prompt. Another keeper, I'd say.

Derrick said...

Well, this is a beautiful poem however you created it - and having seen the Dutch, that was a challenge!

Cynthia Short said...

You did a wonderful job with this... so many lines just mesmerized me. The "doom nibbling at his marrow" is just one of many. Plus, I loved the gloomy, depressing theme...I can't seem to write anything else lately! (must be the low sun and wet weather)!

briarcat said...

"heady ache for friendly death" is a lovely way of putting it, and a true expression.

Anonymous said...

from Therese Broderick -- Lovely sounds in this! Very nice poetic strategies: the contrast of wildest/calmest, the anadiplosis (repetition from one line to the next)of "brook,/brooks" ; and the graceful interlacing of "brooks to river, river to the sea." I like how in the poem, the "he" is not named, but is kept at a distance.

Kayt said...

This is lovely - I especially love the opening stanza, and '...doom nibbling at his marrow' is just spectacular.

I've never done transliterations before, but have done a lot of homophonic translation, where the poem is 'translated' to similar sounding words in english (or how one imagines the words sound). btw -the current poem on the front page of my website came from a homophonic translation of a Rilke poem.

Thanks a lot for posting the explanation,etc. for the transliteration - I'll have to give this a try :-)

namingconstellations said...

This is wonderful... I like how the second half echoes the first with the back and forth interplay of light and dark. Much more wistful and pensive than the original, I think. :)

Raven's Wing Poetry said...

What caught my eye especially was the line: "the doom nibbling at his marrow". The whole poem was lovely and yet sorrowful, reminding me of
someone I used to know. I also like how you played light against dark in this piece. Well done.

-Nicole

Yousei Hime said...

I like the repetition, how it builds sympathetic reverberating meaning as the poem spreads out. Thanks for visiting my site.

madeline d. murray said...

I love what you did with this tough prompt. The second stanza with the joinings really resonates for me. Great Job.

The Good Typist said...

This is a very moving poem; I really felt connected to the "he" the poem describes, and it has a lovely sound.

Jeeves said...

Amazing! Love these lines

and in all those times, he knew
a growing kinship with the dark
and a heady ache for friendly death

Grace and Bradley said...

Very interesting, your faux translation certainly did well. You got the inspiration from the original characters or you guess what they sounds like. If the poem is written in Chinese, do you have to hear how it sounds, before you can compose your faux translation.

Nathan said...

I really like the image of nibbling doom. Well done!

Julie Jordan Scott said...

I'm with Nathan, that line sings... wow. Love what you did with this!

Dee Martin said...

I'm with everyone else on the nibbling at his marrow line - whew! I loved though, how he tried to join water to water, as though he was trying to preserve the flow. I could hear it all in my head.

Wayne Pitchko said...

great job with this ...especially like doom nibbling at his marrow...thanks for sharing this

SisterJulia said...

This is quite, quite beautiful.

Fascinating process