Tumblewords

Fractals Photos Poetry Prose Watercolor

Friday, October 08, 2010

Faulty Map for Big Tent

Big Tent Poetry prompts: borrow one line from a poet’s poem and use that line as a springboard.

My poem was prompted by Joy Harjo A Map to the Next World which can be found at http://www.poetryfoundation.org/archive/poem.html?id=179781



Faulty Map

forgetfulness takes inbound steps
alongside the walk-about
drops petite crumbs for comfort

a nip of silk scarf peeks
from a drawer of woolen socks
a can of peas crowds the shoes

thin lines of ink doodle lists
tasks that must be done
until they double up and fade

afraid to move, or read ink,
she huddles in quiet and struggles
to recall where she left the crumbs

 
 
A Fractal Image.
♥     ♥     ♥

27 comments:

Gordon Mason said...

Enjoyed the images here, and the rhythms.

vivinfrance said...

"to recall where she left the crumbs" I think you are talking about me, my friend! Lovely confused poem.

Friko said...

worth coming over for, both poems, this and the last one.
I truly admire your facility with words.

Mary said...

Interestingly written. Beginning and ending with crumbs. I hope I am never this forgetful.

Diane T said...

Ah, the crumbs and the images! Love the images... but have my own crumbs, LOL.

sandy, from gardenpath said...

I really like what you did with the words. Thanks for directing me to the poetry site. She is one of my favorite of mine.

Ron. said...

A fine write with an especially killer close. Bravo.

christopher said...

First I want to thank you for gifting me with Joy Harjo's poem. There is deep truth found there.

Also, that poem forms a true context for your poem which does not read the same without it, because I tried and had no idea how to find what I knew was there. Joy taught you to write this poem and then taught me to read it.

Now what were several images in several verses unite inside the task of orienting toward the next, the fifth world.

Now your poem sings!

gospelwriter said...

I liked this and found it somewhat disturbing, thinking of one with alzheimer's - the incongruity of seeing silk with woolens, veg tin with shoes... the last stanza is quite heartbreaking. I thought the title a perfect fit for the piece.

Rallantanda said...

I read this a few times. I found it very moving and sad. You have captured the feeling of isolation
beautifully.

flaubert said...

Susan I love the images captured here.
Pamela

Systematic Weasel said...

Wonderful post! =)

-Weasel

Derrick said...

Sadly, this is a fact of life with which we must become more familiar and we must come to terms with the heartbreaking reality you have captured.

EKSwitaj said...

powerful conclusion

Jeeves said...

Lovely

Dave King said...

Had me hooked! I go for that. Very clever - and doesn't overlook the feelings.

Cassiopeia Rises said...

Sue this is great. Oh, I have left many crumbs along the way but still cannot find my way back.


Melanie

Alegria Imperial said...

I like it. Such tender pain yet such grace. Thank you for this poem and for finding my haiku in jornales beautiful.

Alegria

Ralf Bröker said...

Easy to read, difficult to understand: verse worth to be read several times, I think. Very psychodelic, to me somewhere between Doors and Burroughs.

Best wishes
Ralf

annell said...

I love, "double up and fade" brilliant!

Karen said...

I haven't gone to the original yet, so I read this with no other context and find it wonderful in its own right. Because poetry makes us distill to the essence, each image is strong and telling. Really, really good.

Q said...

I so love, "a nip of silk scarf peeks
from a drawer of woolen socks"
I see the scarf peeking out...
perhaps it is hope I cling too...
Always enjoy your poems, art that
informs and entertains.
Thank you!
Sherry

Trulyfool said...

TWords,

Phrases: 'nip of silk scarf' and 'a can of peas crowds the shoes' -- these are charged!

Trulyfool

nimaruichi said...

The sense of hopelessness and despair is hauntingly beautiful.

Tilly Bud said...

'a nip of silk scarf' - what a wonderful phrase.

Brian Miller said...

oh wow...i imagine in many ways that is what it would feel like...nice write!

Geraldine said...

Sad, beautiful,eloquent....nice work Sue.

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