Tumblewords

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Thursday, March 04, 2010

Countdown for RWP #116

RWP Get your Poem on #116  An image prompt which can be seen at the RWP link.


Countdown

once beyond
the twelfth chime
on the threshhold of myth
the double gates release
insignificant others
from each of her decades
a motley horde who parade
in single file
toward the hazy light
the glow dims and fades
scribes a runic sentence
on the doorsill of myth
while the chiming clock
strikes thirteen



 
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20 comments:

anthonynorth said...

You took us all the way into a paradox there. Loved it.

Paul Oakley said...

I like your wordplay:

insignificant others
from each of her decades


Love the "doorsill of myth" phrase!

Wayne Pitchko said...

I like where you went with this...n icely done and thanks for sharing this

ofheart said...

The chiming clock striking thirteen, surreal. Enjoyed!

namingconstellations said...

It's already been said, but I too really like that clock striking thirteen (reminds me of 1984 a bit) and the insignificant others... great dreamlike feel.

SOL said...

Excellent--I think it fits the image quite well.

pat said...

I like the beginning,

...beyond
the twelfth chime
on the threshold of myth

it seems a little different way to think about things beyond everyday reality.

Derrick said...

"on the threshhold of myth". This is quite mythical itself and dreamlike, as Joseph says.

Raven's Wing Poetry said...

I have to agree...that clock striking thirteen really did it for me in this piece. I enjoyed reading this.

-Nicole

rallentanda said...

This poem glides.Hard to do.Beautiful.

flaubert said...

Sue,
I love what you did with this. Absolutely beautiful and mystical.
Thanks for sharing.
Pamela

flaubert said...

Sue,
I love what you did with this. Absolutely beautiful and mystical.
Thanks for sharing.
Pamela

JP/deb said...

I'm so glad I clicked over and saw the image that inspired your poem ... your words are the perfect pairing for that picture. Awesome!

Cindy Veach said...

I enjoyed the energy and movement of your poem. It covers alot of ground in just a few lines. Thank you for sharing it.

Tamarind~ said...

Last line teases..!!

Jim McNeely said...

I think you caught and beautifully expressed the mythic quality of the image. I also liked the reference to decades as insignificant others who parade in a single file. Also, for some reason, I found myself wishing for another word besides 'hazy', as if it were too whimsical for the mythic feel of the poem, but I can't put my finger on why that is. A really fine poem, I enjoyed it- Great work!

Geraldine said...

I really enjoyed this work Sue. Excellent!

Hugs, G

PS: Are you having any issues reaching OSI? Ive been denied access. Just wondering.

EKSwitaj said...

I love the use of numbers here. You give us on(c)e and twelve early on and then expand a moment through images and bring us back to the never-ceasing count of time with thirteen in the end.

Irene said...

Like how you ran with the clock that struck thirteen.

Uma Gowrishankar said...

Your words take me to a different time and space.Beautifully written - love the lines "scribes a runic sentence/
on the doorsill of myth."